I sit pretending / Mandatory OSHA break / Deep breaths ill advised.

Anus is on fire / Doctor’s terminology / A fecal breach birth.

Italian night / Splashing down my own toppings / A hydro pizza.

An Easter suprise / Start of poo prohibition / In sister’s bathroom.

Like the great Ali / My poop floats like butterflies / And stings like a bee.

Constipation sucks / Forceful pushing, no result / Ex-Lax saves the day.

La Sera Cafe / Hot pressed Ethiopian tea / Gets bowels moving.

Hunger pains, straining / Fast food-caused constipation / bowels super sized.

Urine filled toilet / Multi-task; piss while pooping / God damn the splashing!

My poo radar strikes! / To my stone throne I venture / A toilet quencher.

Bunching malfunction / Rare TP catastrophe / Must burn this finger.

Trying to save cash / The cheap single-ply I buy / Mistake. Splurge next time.

Odor of baboons / Vaccuum sealed crack / My ass reeks of zoo.

Huge public shitters / Jabba the Hutt’s porcelain / Shit smear under balls.

Pipeline very clogged / Powerful stinky flatus / Metamucil helps.

It doesn’t judge me / A euphoric tsunami / The handicap stall.

Melodious sounds / Malodorus excretion / Still mellifluous.

Not just by Outkast / Bombs over Baghdad is life / For toilet water.

Anal factory / Godiva and Fannie May / Chocolate machine.

Magma sensation/ Porcelain pounding madness / Afterthoughts of ‘nam.

American dog / Such tasty delicacies / Fiery debriefing.

Half a roll later / The emergency exit / Needs to be hosed down.

Great wake-up alarm / Belly evacuation / Will be a good day!

Dehydrated I / Double over in ag’ny / Emergency room.

Aiding my dinner / To its final resting place / With one final push.

The marsupials / Aren’t Earth’s sole bagged beings / My poo pouch bellows.

Happens in nature / Regeneration of limbs / This tail will grow back.

Intransigent ass / Mission ‘poo’ has failed / More fiber perhaps?

Anticipation / My post lunch apocalypse / Gluttony pays off.

Daily déjà vu / Seat familiarity / Bathroom Groundhog Day.

I Somnambulate / Unaware defecation / Toilet lid was down.

Seated I’m waiting / My knees at 90 degrees / Like God on his throne.

Morning protein shake / Plus my multi-vitamins / Rainbow butt slushy.

What is Jungle Butt? / Raised boxer humidity / Peeling required.

Almost crapped my pants / Toilet paper could not cleanse / Shower required.

Overwhelmed at work / Sphincter fought relentlessly / Afternoon agony.

Slow. Painful. Soft serve / Straining with guttural sounds / Graceful I am not.

The world’s best feeling / When a piss becomes a poo / Women can relate.

From a stall he roars / You must try cleansing diets / Two holed battle cry.

Tiny spelunkers / Meandering through my rectum / Seeking adventures.

Lots of pizza grease / Gargantuan stinky poo / Walking with a limp.

Delicious skatefish/ even better truffle fries/ zesty afterthought.

Robots poop the same / as there human counterparts / they just need more grease

Anal muscles flex/ Aloud...painfully grunting/ Volleyball shaped turd

bubbling stomach/ king cobra and spinach dip/ biblical dumping

Vivacious butt ooze/ accomplishment of the day/ Must give it a name

I sit pretending /

Mandatory OSHA break /

Deep breaths ill advised.